Trusting Again
by PCGirl
Summary: John finds out a truth which changes his relationship with Liam and Natalie once again.  But is it too late for them to trust each other?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is just a two parter-I needed a Jolie pick-me-up and decided to write it myself. Ya'll enjoy-rest of it should be posted later this weekend. Until next time-PCGirl.

* * *

John walked to the door of Llanfair remembering the scene he'd left a few minutes ago at Marty's. He'd come by this weekend and seen Liam-he usually did when his mind was clear of the self-inflicted alcohol haze he would put himself in, but then his heart hurt worse after leaving him so the cycle would continue.

Tonight he'd tried something different-instead of finding the bottle he went to talk to Marty. He'd made a comment about not having seen Liam in a few days and she'd burst into tears-saying how she was just trying to get revenge on Natalie for taking Cole away from her. That she'd never meant to hurt him this deep-never meant to keep him from his son.

At first she tried to backtrack her story-but he'd pushed until she admitted what Natalie had been saying all along-Liam was his son. By blood-not just by the bond they had formed in those first few weeks of life. He'd wanted to yell at her-ask her how she could do that to him, but instead he'd walked out of the house and headed here.

He wanted to walk right in-wanted to go upstairs and hold his son in his arms, but he controlled himself and knocked hard. As the door opened he put on his pleasant smile to Viki, "Hi Mrs Banks. Can I talk to Natalie?"

"Oh John, I'm sorry-she's not here."

John nodded-it made sense, the way he'd treated her she would not expect him to show up like this, "I see. Do you know where she went? When she might be back? Is Liam with her?"

Viki saw the look in his eyes and realized the moment she'd told Natalie to wait for was here and her heart ached to tell him the truth, "She's at the airport. They are going to London tonight."

"Oh. Don't you need the father's permission to do that?"

"Well, yes-but Brody signed a paper saying it was ok."

"You don't know what time the flight was, do you?"

Viki looked at her watch, "I believe in thirty minutes. What's going on, John?"

John grinned at the question-he hadn't felt himself really smile like this for months, "I need to tell Natalie first. I'm sorry."

"Don't be-I hope it's good, whatever it is," she smiled as she watched him take off for his car once again.

* * *

Natalie sat in the seat watching Liam sleep-she worried about the flight across the Atlantic and him waking up crying in the middle of the flight. Maybe she should have taken the Buchanan jet like Kevin had offered when she suggested they come for a visit.

She needed to get out of Llanview-he understood, as did her mom, dad, and Joey. She walked around on eggshells at work when it came to John and then did the same at home with Tess.

She kept telling herself this trip wasn't going to be long-just a short visit with her brother, but then she wondered what if she just stayed-Brody was so wrapped into trying to be Ryder's dad would he actually miss his real son.

"Mrs Banks?"

Natalie looked up to see the ticket agent from before-when she nearly went to London and John stopped her, "Hi," she smiled politely.

"Look at this guy-he's so handsome, looks just like his dad," she smiled as she looked over Liam.

Natalie didn't have it in her heart to correct her, though she had thought the same thing from time to time-that he looked more like John than either her or Brody, but put it off as she was looking for John in him and somehow found it.

"Is your husband going with you to London?"

"No," said Natalie as she felt tears brimming behind her eyes and tried to force the emotions back. "He won't be joining us either."

"I'm sorry to hear that, have a nice flight though."

"Thanks," she said as she looked back at Liam. "I'm sorry baby," she whispered softly as she stroked his cheek. Hearing her name being called she turned to look and see John standing there a few feet away from her. "Uhm, hi," she said unsure how he even knew where to find her.

"I came by the house-needed to talk to you."

She shook her head fiercely, this wasn't happening-he wasn't going to stop her from another flight to London and then break her heart all over again, as well as Liam's. "There's nothing to say John."

John nodded-she was hurt and he knew he was to blame. He'd pushed her away so far these past few months he wondered what he could say to pull them back to each other and then he looked at Liam sleeping. "Can I hold him?"

"Sure," she said as she watched him so delicately pick her son up and hold him in his arms. He started to squirm and she smiled as he woke up and she watched his and John's eyes connect and he giggled.

John couldn't help but smile, here he was holding his son-something he hadn't thought he was doing for months, and kicked himself for the simple moments like this that he'd missed, "I was over at Marty's tonight."

"Oh, good. Is she going to give you therapy?" she questioned, even though she knew the woman had lost her license to practice. Hearing the first call for her flight she wondered if this was going to be the last conversation she ever had with John and it would be about Marty.

"No, but she did admit to me something. She told me she was trying to get revenge on you for Cole-that she changed the test."

"What? What are you saying?" she asked, hearing the second call for her flight.

"You were right-Liam is my son, in every way including blood," he smiled as he looked at her.

Her heart melted at his smile-it'd been so long since he smiled at her like that-she'd see it with Liam, but never with her, "Ok. But what if she's lying? What if this is another way for her to stick it to me? I can't go through this again, John."

"Just-let's go have a test done. We can do it at the station. Please don't take him away from me again."

"I'll think about it-but first I have a plane to catch. Say goodbye sweetie," she said as she took Liam out of John's arms, and for a second wondered if John was right and she was actually taking her son away from his father.

"Natalie-," he said, unsure of how to stop her.

"I'll be back, John. And if you still believe her we can talk about the test," she said as she as she finished getting Liam settled in the carrier.

John felt frozen watching her walk to the gate. He didn't know how, except for physical restraint, to make her stay-he'd hurt her so badly that she wasn't willing to trust enough to find out the truth. He watched her pause a moment, and thought she was going to turn around to him, but it didn't happen and she disappeared down the walkway and disappeared.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Ok, I have a confession-I put this into the Smut side because I thought I was going to write a nice steamy smutty scene, but I can't seem to make it work, so I apologize for leading you on thinking you might get something-but then, I'm not as great of a smut writer as some. Enjoy! Until next time-ya'll are the best-PCGirl.

* * *

John sat on his couch staring at the bottle of whiskey in front of him. He wanted to drink the whole damn bottle and pass out. But he couldn't-he needed a clear head and reached for the phone.

"Yes. When is the next flight to London?" he asked and tossed the phone down onto the couch beside him. It was in the morning-but he was going. He'd talk to her, plead with her if he needed, to make her come back, that he needed both of them.

It wasn't just Liam he needed-and it wasn't that he needed him now that he knew he was his son, he always had. The second he'd held the small infant up at the lodge his heart had opened and he realized now that it would never fully close again.

His head turned at the tentative knock on the door-who could it be at this hour. If it was Marty coming to check on him he would take out his rage of Natalie leaving on her. She deserved it-he'd told her everything that was going on these past few months, and she'd continued to hide the truth. A truth that would have settled everything a lot sooner than it did tonight.

Opening the door he was surprised to not see Marty, but Natalie. "Hey-where's Liam?" he questioned when he didn't see the carrier.

"Roxy has him," she said as she came in and dropped her purse by the chair at the door like she always did. "I didn't want him to hear us argue. Or fight-or whatever is going to happen at the end of the night."

"I thought you left," he said as he pushed her hair out of her face, the first time he'd let himself touch her for months, and felt that spark between them that was as natural as breathing.

"I did-I got on the plane, and sat in my seat and realized I couldn't do this to you-or him. So we'll find out tonight the truth-"

"And if it still says he's-not mine," he said, unable to say Brody's name all of a sudden. "You'll get on the 10:15 flight to London?"

"How'd-?"

"I was coming after you, Natalie. I've been an ass-to you and our son."

"We don't know yet-."

"He's mine," he said as he leaned down and kissed her. Pulling back he couldn't help but smile, "Just as you are. So let's go find out the truth."

* * *

  
John led the way back into the apartment. They'd said very few words while working in the lab-only what needed to be said as the test was ran and they sat for what felt like hours until the results came back.

They'd put the results in an envelope and drove back here-but as they reached the steps he grabbed her hand and held tight-it was a lifeline he needed at the moment and one he wondered if she needed as welll.

"I guess this is it," she said as she sat down on the couch and looked at the envelope in her hands as if it was a bomb.

"Wait," he said as he grabbed her hand and had her look at him. "Before we open it-I don't want you to go to London-even if Liam isn't mine I want you both in my life-I need you."

Natalie stayed strong despite seeing how he was pleading with her. It made it feel better-that he seemed to be willing to fight for her, but it didn't change anything, "The needing has never really been the problem John. There's been something between us since that first day at Crossroads."

John nodded-he'd felt it then, and even then he'd been keeping something from her because of the job. And every time they broke up was because of a secret-because they didn't trust the other enough with the truth.

"How can we work on a case together so well, but still hurt each other badly at home?" she asked as she twirled the envelope in her hands.

"We'll work on it-we have to for Liam. We've brought this child into the world now-right now he doesn't get that we're fighting, but if we don't work on it the next time he'll be older and will. I never want to hurt him because we continually fail at something so simple as the truth. You ready?" he asked as he nodded towards the envelope.

"I guess so," she said as she opened it and read the results carefully so she wasn't misunderstanding anything. She took a deep breath to control the emotions inside of her before speaking. "That bitch. She really did change the results. He's your son, John," she said through tears and looked at John to see he was doing the same.

John didn't say a word, tried to push the tears back, and was able to do so for the most part. Reaching over he took the results and put them on the table. Taking her hands he stood up and she watched as she followed.

His mouth met hers with heat and passion, all the anger he'd felt for her over the past few months melted to love.

When his hands slipped up her shirt he felt the goosebumps form from his touch. He pulled apart and smiled at her, his eyes full of desire and longing, as he pulled the shirt up and over her head, throwing it behind her while they made their way to the bed.

As they found their rhythm with each other again they realized tonight was about the desire they had for each other-for erasing all the hurt they'd done to each other over the past few months. It was about them showing each other the only one they had ever wanted was the other.

* * *

Natalie began to stir and reached for John. They'd reached for each other a few times during the night-and every time was welcomed by the others embrace. It felt right-but it always had, what they had to work on now was the trust and being truthful.

This time when she reached was different-the bed was empty and cold, telling her that he'd been up for awhile. Opening her eyes the room was empty and she wondered if this had been some cruel trick.

If somehow he'd planned this just to hurt her once again. Getting up she searched for her clothes as she tried to decide what to do. Wait for John to show up and hurt her again with some cold remark that he was getting good at doing? No, she wouldn't put herself through it-and started getting herself together.

There were some things of Liam's she hadn't gotten yet so she gathered them together to put in a box. A few minutes later she heard footsteps and held her breath as the door opened and in walked John with a to-go bag from Buenos Dias and carrying a very awake and happy Liam, "Hey," she said quietly, as she walked over and smiled at her son, giving him a morning kiss.

"Hey-what's going on?" asked John as he placed the food down and noticed the pile of clothes and stuffed animals that had been created on the couch.

"I-," she stopped when she remembered it was all about the truth now. "I thought this was all a trick to hurt me. That you had left me, and I was getting my things to go."

John sighed as he pulled her into him to hold, "I'm sorry, Natalie." Pulling apart he held her face in his hand, "I really was an ass, wasn't I?"

"Yeah you were," she said as she tried to laugh and took Liam from him. "But this is just me being neurotic. So where did ya'll go?"

"We walked to Buenos Dias to get some breakfast. And then we took a long walk back and had a father/son talk."

"What about?" she said through a laugh and tried to wipe away any remaining tears.

"Just everything that was going on. How I had thought I'd lost him as a son, but it wasn't true. That I'd realized I wanted to be a part of this little guys life no matter what-DNA didn't mean anything. He has part of my heart-I can't get it back and I don't want it back. I want you both-I need you both-we're a family, and the only people that can change that is us. So we'll work on this-us? For all of us?" he questioned while running his hand over Liam's dark hair.

"For all of us," she said as she leaned up for a kiss and realized for the first time in forever she truly felt like a family.


End file.
